Joe and I went roller skating, ate sno-cones and sonic on our date last night. We felt like we were in middle school. It was amazing. Here's some shots for you.
About Me
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Date night from Middle School.
Joe and I went roller skating, ate sno-cones and sonic on our date last night. We felt like we were in middle school. It was amazing. Here's some shots for you.
Monday, April 25, 2011
a few things.
a list of favorites i felt like taking note of. anyone else enjoy these as well?
ceramics. hmm. shadows.
these. irony.
fire in water. a great plate of sushi.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
so long my dear.
I gave up today.
I gave up my past, and i opened up the gates of possibilities for the future.
Three years ago I lost almost everything in a tornado, because of that, people from around my community and church lavished furniture, household items and whatever i needed during that time. I went empty handed, into a new apartment, and it quickly became stuffed with things. It was an overwhelming experience. I could never thank those people who helped me enough, it was humbling.
(years later) A few months ago i moved into the room of my childhood. and 95% of those things went into storage.
A couple weeks ago a local house burned down. A house with a family of 5. No one in the family was injured, except they lost their sweet cat and dog. However, they lost absolutely everything. They are currently living in a hotel, all five of them.
About a week ago i got an email from a man that has been letting me use space in his warehouse for storage, rent free, the email read, "good news, bad news... bad news, you need to have your stuff out by the end of the month..." I freaked. I'm not ready to move, get a lease, settle down, but i have a house worth of furniture and stuff to do... something with. But is it really wise to throw money away to a storage building when people could use these things?
I fought it for a while. But then i realized, i was blessed with these things when i needed them, how can i hold it back? It will be a release for me, i will be free of.... stuff.
Today, neighbors of the family (from the fire) went to the warehouse with me and my family and loaded up two trucks and a trailer. I gave it all to them. My only request to them, was if they don't need it someday, that they give it away. Pay it forward.
And now i realized, after i go through some of these boxes of books and dishes etc, I will be able to fit, in my car, everything i own.
I'm not sure if that's incredibly freeing, or totally scary.
What are we holding on to, because we might need it? I want to go, and do and live and experience, and i couldn't when i literally had a house worth of furniture on my shoulders (okay, not literally). And that family, couldn't move into a new place and live on the floor. Unacceptable.
What am i still holding on to? What are you holding on to?
Snap to it people. Give it away. Go live.
.nnn.
Friday, February 25, 2011
a beatable year.
I've decided to start something new this year. At the beginning of every near year I am going to create a playlist from the past year. One song to depict the feelings from each month of the previous year. Now, i know there are so many feelings, emotions and processes that we go through, throughout each month, however, there typically seems to be an over-arcing feeling. I'm going to hit on that main emotion in song.
I feel as though music locks memories into our minds like not many things can. I can hear a piece that i haven't heard in 10+ years and there is an overwhelming feeling that rushes over me, good, bad, happy, depressing, whatever the memory may be, it rushes back with the rhythm, the beat and the lyric, even if i don't want it to.
Even my mother, who is 55 (act like i didn't say that) says that about music she listened to in grade school and hasn't heard since. She hears it and all of a sudden goes back to moments of childhood, and even at times the lyrics flow back to memory.
Music is a language all on it's own. I love it.
Last year, was needless to say, a roller-coaster. I was emotionally thrown around, luckily ending on (an attempting) recoverable high note. I learned a lot of lessons last year that i would prefer not to forget (basically i'm trying to help myself not to be forced to relearn them).
In a sense, i'm choosing to "journalize" my year in 12 songs. Of course, not every song is going to lyrically fit completely, however, the feeling and emotions that sweeps over me reminds me of what to do, or what not to do again. Clear as mud, right? Good.
So. here goes. Year 1 of Musically Documenting my memories, lessons and the way God speaks to me.
2010 (in beats.)
January - Fiona Apple - "Parting Gift"
February - Justin Timberlake & Matt Morris - "Hallelujah"
March - Beyonce - "Single Ladies" (yes i went there)
April - Delirious - "What Would I Have Done"
May - Sara Groves - "It's Going To Be Alright"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9yNZ17j8Fg (just ignore the lame "paintings")
June - St. Vincent & Bon Iver - "Roslyn"
July - John Mayer - "Stop This Train"
August - Clear - "Chasing After The Wind"
(unfortunately for the life of me i couldn't find a good video/clip of Clear performing,
they broke up years ago, so sadly this is the only one i could find. seriously. sorry)
September - Fifth Avenue North - "You Are More"
October - Rayland Baxter - "Hoot Owl"
November - The Avett Brothers - "All My Mistakes"
December - Waterdeep & 100 Portraits - "You Are So Good To Me"
I'm going to burn myself a mix of this for my car and continue this on for next year.
Alright folks.
I'm interested to know what this year is going to sound like.
Snap to it.
-n
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
a little learning.
Isn't this how you're supposed to do it?
Get excited about a new blog, post a few times, forget about it and then a few months later apologize to yournon-existant followers about not blogging? Well. here it is.
Sorry i haven't posted in a few months.
My last post was about being a "twixter", and although i am still amidst the battle of figuring out how to un-label myself, "things" have become a little less.... "twix"ed.
I'm doing what i love, that's a start.
It really is true, choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. Thanks Confucius.
Nothing has really progressed with the filmwork. However, i am officially on IMDB (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4084947/ ) granted, it's the saddest little link ever. But it'll grow with time. You have to start somewhere. My name is out there, that's a good start.
I've learned some things since i last posted, some wonderful trades for my resume, and life in general. Here are some images to prove it (click on the images to see them bigger).
Not everybody gets to fly at work. / I got bored one day and taught myself a butterflyclimbing knot. / Taking apart snow machines to fix them
This is just straight funny. /If you like ropes, then this is a beautiful site. / I know it's gross. But it's a regular occurrence.
I have learned how to solder different types of cables, such as instrument, dmx, and xlr. I really enjoy it to. I've taught myself a few types and then my boss taught me the rest.
Out on a video shoot / One of the consoles i mix on pretty regularly.
Found out what the broken insides of a sub is. / Primitive much?
Repairing an NL-8 Speaker Cable. / Customizing a Pelican Case
The more i learn, the more i see i have so much to learn.
Let's get to work. Snap to it.
n3
Thursday, August 19, 2010
twix away.
'm a little.... no, i'm quite overwhelmed, shell shocked really, by an article i just read, sent to me by my Dad about my generation. I sit here, in a Starbucks, in a city that i don't live in, jobless, having just moved in with my parents, reading this article about "twixters" and their inability to grow up. I feel exposed to say the least. I beg you to read this article. If you are in my generation than you will understand yourself better than you thought possible, if you aren't in my generation, than you will be able to help us where we are begging for a hand.
I must warn you. It's like reading a small book. it took me about 30 minutes to read the entire article. it's not swift article, but it's well worth it. please stick with it and tell me what you think about it, be honest, be brutal.
I'm going to comment on a few moments that hit me hard. and i must say, that there were moments that i had tears in my eyes and my heart was racing. This is how i feel. And i have felt as though i didn't know how to explain my confusion and my lack of direction. I'm not proud of it and i don't want it to continue, but i feel so much better knowing that someone gets it. so....
"To compensate, a lot of twixters go back to school for graduate and professional degrees. Swann, for example, is planning to head back to business school to better his chances in the insurance game. But piling on extra degrees costs precious time and money and pushes adulthood even further into the future."
- this hit home for me.... because i have been researching graduate programs for the past ooh, six months or so.... and moved in with my parents in transition to grad school.... maybe it is merely another way for me to delay complete adulthood. i don't know.... that's the point... I DON'T KNOW.
Galantha's frenetic hopping from school to school, job to job and city to city may look like aimless wandering. (She has moved six times since 1999. Her father calls her and her sister gypsies.) But Emerging Adulthood's Arnett--and Galantha--see it differently. To them, the period from 18 to 25 is a kind of sandbox, a chance to build castles and knock them down, experiment with different careers, knowing that none of it really counts. After all, this is a world of overwhelming choice: there are 40 kinds of coffee beans at Whole Foods Market, 205 channels on DirecTV, 15 million personal ads on Match.com and 800,000 jobs on Monster.com Can you blame Galantha for wanting to try them all? She doesn't want to play just the hand she has been dealt. She wants to look through the whole deck. "My problem is I'm really overstimulated by everything," Galantha says. "I feel there's too much information out there at all times. There are too many doors, too many people, too much competition."
-i have been called a gypsy by my own parents. i get that. i understand it. i am overwhelmed with choices, options, doors, TOO MANY people, TOO MANY options...... what to do, what to do.....
"They're not just looking for a job," Arnett says. "They want something that's more like a calling, that's going to be an expression of their identity." Hedonistic nomads, the twixters may seem, but there's a serious core of idealism in them."
-um.... wow. i don't want to settle, that is so big for me. i'd rather work a job that is a calling than work a job just to make some money. that's huge to me. but i know that it's not realistic, and it's so frustrating. sounds like giving up doesn't it?
Young people know that their material life
will not be better than their parents'," Apter says. "They don't expect a safer life than their parents had. They don't expect more secure employment or finances. They have to put in a lot of work just to remain O.K." Tough love may look like the answer, but it's not what twixters need.
- i could break down on this one. i feel like a wee little sensitive one that just needs compassion and encouragement because i just don't know what's next.
by my age, my parents were married, pregnant and in texas with a job they loved. by my age my brother and wife had one child and one on the way, in colorado. i feel behind, but i know i'm not. i feel cultural pressure and it can be suffocating. many times i want to just hide in my room (my childhood room as it may be with floral border and yellow walls) and ask everyone to stop with the pressure to "grow up", get married, find some job that is impressive and... succeed. but hiding in my room won't get me anywhere. it's merely receding. So i do what i can. even if it doesn't make money, unrealistic as it may be, because the work is what heals me. i've said this many times and my dad said it again recently, "i feel God's pleasure when i run" as said by what's his name in Chariots of Fire. I feel God's pleasure when i do the work that He puts me in. And i'm desperate to do it more, but sometimes it doesn't make money, sometimes it's not impressive..... so i try and stay a float. and do what i can to... well, grow up, with work, with love, with education, family, friends....
i guess Peter Pan needs to move on.... i'm not going to re-read this because i'll probably edit down to little to nothing... so... here it is. my heart on "paper". tear it up.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Day 1.
Today i had my first experience on a film set. I'm officially a film extra. i thoroughly enjoyed the work. Look for my name to come up on IMDB here pretty soon, i'll keep you up to date. Here is the website for the film i was in and will be on crew this afternoon. http://whereibeginmovie.com/
I hope that through this work i will be able to gain knowledge of people, places and other pieces that need actors and workers. i'm ready for it.
Here's an image of me on set, which for the morning was a grocery store.
that's all for now.
snap to it people. there's so much to be had. we've got to find it.
natalie
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